Max's Movie Review: Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning
Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning has been out in the world for over a month now, but if you haven’t had the chance to see it yet, you are probably a member of Gen X.
Hey folks… big news in Hollywood this week—Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning just hit theaters, and Tom Cruise is back as Ethan Hunt, the only man who treats the laws of physics like a suggestion and reality like an optional setting in a video game, alright?
Now, lemme tell ya… I saw this flick, and it’s less a spy thriller and more of a two-and-a-half-hour Red Bull hallucination filmed on top of Mount Everest with a GoPro strapped to a cheetah. Cruise is out here doing stunts that make Evel Knievel look like he needed training wheels, babe.
Seriously—this guy’s hanging off cliffs, dangling out of submarines, and flying a biplane upside down over the Sahara Desert like he’s trying to land a cameo in Top Gun 3: Goose’s Revenge. I haven’t seen a guy in his 60s run that hard since Mick Jagger’s Fitbit challenged him to a duel.
But let’s be honest here, gang: the plot of this thing is about as clear as a latte in a snowstorm. Something about a rogue AI, nuclear submarines, and a data key that looks like it came out of a Happy Meal toy. I’ve seen Escape Room puzzles with more narrative coherence.
Cruise plays Ethan Hunt like a man who’s one espresso away from personally storming the Large Hadron Collider to reset the universe. I mean, at this point, the dude doesn’t need dialogue—he just grits his teeth, jumps off a dam, and lets Hans Zimmer’s music do the talking.
And Ving Rhames is back as Luther Stickell, delivering emotional monologues so touching, I almost wanted him to hack into my heart and delete my childhood trauma.
But don’t get me wrong—this movie rocks harder than a Metallica cover band in a demolition derby. If you’re looking for plot holes, turn on C-SPAN. If you’re looking for high-octane insanity, this is your guy. Cruise isn’t acting anymore—he’s just filming himself doing crazy stuff and daring the editors to keep up.
Final verdict?
Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning is part action movie, part therapy session for adrenaline junkies, and all Cruise. At this rate, Tom’s not gonna retire, he’s gonna implode. He’s like a Red Bull can that learned to speak Scientology.
I’m Max Cassidy… and I gotta go now—Cruise just base-jumped off my TV, and I think he stole my WiFi on the way down.
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